Sudden

1.

Usually they lounge

 in the shade

beneath the canopy of tress by the fence

 sleeping

 but today from my balcony

I heard the sudden shrill

 cries

 of two cats clashing

 on the lawn

 I stood startled

 as strange tufts of fur drifted slowly to the grass

2.

There was no warning

 nothing different from yesterday

 Every circumstance the same

Yet my memories come back

 in sharp, painful jabs

 I am sweating at the gym

 or sitting in my car

 My brain is like a dark cellar

the air stale

corners shadowy
In a movie, it’s a place you scream uselessly

“No.  Don’t.  Go.  There.”

Such futility

But I’m good at wasting time

I am up at 2 AM adding up

all the things I do wrong
all the ways I could be better

My hand has to write

 these useless scribbles

 My mind keeps wandering in too many directions

 an avoidance
of the inevitable.

Tonight I’m wondering:

What happens if

 the spirit separates from the body

 just floats away, waving with that gotcha smile

Am I in that spirit

or the body melting to the ground

I remembered I’d once watched

 frightened

then fascinated

 as my body spawned spirit after spirit

shadow after shadow

 frantically flying away

 like doves released at dawn

 and I know they invade everything I see

 those cries in the night

those cats on the afternoon lawn.

~ by Dark Landscapes on April 2, 2012.